My Birthing Story

I'm only about 7 months late to the game, but here we are. I couldn't - not share my birthing story. If you're anything like me, I love reading the stories of others; everyone's experience is so different and unique. So, here is mine. Please don't hesitate to ask questions, either on here or over on my instagram. I hope my story helps someone in some way!

When I first started my nursing career, I worked as a labor and delivery nurse. That can either be a good thing or a bad thing (or both) when it comes to having your own baby. For me, when I first found out I was pregnant, my mind went straight to the delivery room and all the things that could possibly go wrong. I played out every scenario in my mind, and part of me was so nervous for that day to come (I feel like we're all nervous in our own ways, even if it isn't your first baby). Well, the day finally came...

Two days before delivery day I had a friends wedding. I was really hoping I would make it there (I was 38 weeks and 6 days). I knew being my first time I probably wouldn't go early and there was a good chance I would have to be induced. Up to this day I had no signs of labor; my OB had even done a cervical exam a few days prior and my cervix was so high and closed that it was quite painful. So, myself and even my doctor were pretty convinced that I wouldn't be having a baby in the near future. Now back to the wedding...lo-and-behold I made it! Shocker, right? I was so excited to be able to celebrate no matter how miserable I was (ha!). But, little did I know that meeting our baby was going to be sooner than we thought!

The day after the wedding we woke up and decided to watch church online. My body hurt and I just didn't have the energy to get myself dressed and out the door. Before church had begun, I randomly felt a small and very weird cramp, and I remember thinking "hmmm...that's weird, I've not felt that before." But I didn't think too much of it because it didn't hurt and I wasn't uncomfortable. Well, the same thing happened 15min later and again after that. Since I was able to start timing them, I started to think that maybe, just maybe, they might be contractions. As many other first timers before me, I couldn't be for certain because I had never experienced contractions before. I then decided I would tell my husband just in case. Well...many of you know my husband so even though I said "now there's no reason to get crazy because I'm not for sure and I'm not going to be blowing a kid out anytime soon, but I think I am having contractions," he was ready to start loading up the bags and head to the hospital :). However, with my previous experience, even if I was contracting, I knew it was too early. So, after some convincing on my part we stayed home to wait it out.

Later that day, his family came up for lunch. He said we could cancel, but I still wanted to do it. I also wasn't quite ready to tell family yet just in case It was a false alarm. So we still went to lunch, and by that time I knew they were contractions. I somehow managed to sit through lunch contracting without anyone knowing and by that time they were starting to get a hair uncomfortable, but were only coming every 10-15min. Once lunch wrapped up and his family left, we started doing laps around the neighborhood. If I knew anything, it was to get up and get moving to see what they were going to do. And - most importantly - to hydrate myself!

After some time I did eventually call my sister who was pregnant with her fifth just to see if she thought they were contractions. Even though I knew they were by then, I still had doubt in my mind because I wasn't feeling them in my belly like I thought (and like I was taught in school...) I would. It just felt like a large cramp in my uterus and into my back, is the best way to describe it. After some confirmation from her and a couple more laps, they were starting to get closer together and a little more painful. I still wasn't ready to head to the hospital yet, though. As the day came to end, I decided to go to bed and see what happened. Needless to say I don't think I slept a wink that night. I was hurting pretty bad, but the contractions were still about 5-7min apart and I knew that was still not close enough. Also, I had an OB appointment that next morning that I was trying to make it to, but I made it to about 7 a.m. and I couldn't hold on anymore. I called my OB and she said to just go into the hospital.

So much was rushing through my head...What if this is it? What if she comes today? What if I go in and I'm not dilated enough and they send me home and I am a waste of everyone's time (I've been on the other side so I know what it's like). I remember very vividly being in the car with my husband and being in the middle of a contraction and him asking me a question. I very politely asked him to wait until I could talk :). Just to speed things up a bit, we got to the hospital and got checked in and then it was time for the cervical exam. Luckily by then I had been feeling my contractions every 3-5min. When she checked me I was about 5cm and almost completely thinned out! The nurse said "well you're not going anywhere." In response I said "OH THANK GOD!"

After that everything went pretty quickly. They took me to my delivery room and I was given my epidural before I knew it (give me all the drugs, ha!). If I am being completely honest, I could've gone longer without the epidural; I was just afraid I would get too far and then not be able to get one. The contractions were painful, but I was still tolerating them. As a matter of fact, I remember the nurse saying to my husband how controlled I was with how far dilated my cervix was. She would've never guessed I was that far a long! Just for reference I was 39weeks and 1 day when I had her. So I was very wrong on my guess of when I thought I would have her or needing to be induced!

I hung out around 6cm for awhile after my epidural, so my doctor came in and broke my water (meconium fluid). That did the trick! And with the help of my nurse who kept me on a peanut ball the whole time (I swear by these) and constantly turned me, a few hours later I was ready to push. Side note: With as much as I had worried myself over this exact moment, I felt like I was able to release it all and trust the nurses taking care of me. However, that didn't keep me from watching my own monitors to see how close my contractions were and that my babies heart rate was okay. Lucky for me, I pushed for a little less than an hour. She was pretty low in my pelvis to start - which helped - and, she only weighed a little over 6lbs. I like to think all those factors worked in my favor. At 6:18pm we delivered a beautiful baby girl! I ended up with a 2 degree tear and a periurethral (for those who are interested) and honestly, the periurethral burned more than the other.

I would like to give an FYI for those who may not know...this was also my first time giving birth, but I had helped many others give birth. HOWEVER, no one warned me about how your butt feels. Not going to lie (we're all friends here, right?), it feels like you delivered your baby out of your butt! I couldn't sit on it for a while after because it was so uncomfortable.

This exact moment is the one you dream and think about your whole pregancy. I can't even begin to describe how it all felt. It was just a flood of emotions when they put her up on my chest. The day we got to meet her was finally here, and she was even more perfect than I had imagined! Even though I had taken care of my fair share of babies, she was still so small! She was perfect in every way and even with the meconium fluid she had, she never had any issues.

Writing this today brings back so many emotions. Sometimes I feel like it's all a blur because it all happens so fast and time is a thief. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect experience and for everything to go as smoothly as it did. I am so grateful for a husband (and now father) who was by my side the entire time, and a healthcare team that took the best care of me at such a vulnerable point in my life. Not only am I writing this birth story for you all, but I am also writing it for myself and my daughter so we can look back on it one day and remember what a special and unforgettable time it was.

Lots of love,

Payge